:S

I haven't been doing very well in keeping up with my posts. Not for lack f anything happening, but more for lack or coherent thought. Shel left Saturday. Today is Wednesday. 4 days ago. We went 65-70 without seeing each other. 4 days should be a slice of pie for me. So why, as I sit here trying to think of something to blog about, are tears rolling down onto my keyboard?

Some days are easy. Some days I can look ahead and see the end of the rainbow... well.. not rainbow... something sadder and darker.. but.. I can see the end, and I know everything will be fine. Today... I'm sad. I miss him like crazy, and nothing I seem to do changes that. I'm back to sleeping only a few hours here and there, my motivation has gone out the window, and I'm just.. Sad. My heart feels like its slugging along to beat, and it feels like every breath without him is such an effort. He's back at work, and getting ready to head out on the road again so I'm trying really hard to give him that space he needs to get things done, and focus on what he needs to focus on right now, which means our daily emails have gone from say.. 20 to about 3. He's been busy the last few nights so I only get a few min with him before bedtime, and I don't fault him any of those things, but it just all adds up to this weight that feels like its hovering over me.

I miss him. And its only been 4 days. It sucks.