Friday, April 9, 2010

Here's a quarter... call anyone but me.

Do you like getting advice? Like if you are stuck on a problem, do you like hearing from someone else? Their ideas, their input?

How about if that advice is unsolicited? If random person not really involved in the situation walks up to you out of the blue and proceeds to wedge their nose directly between you "Busi" and "ness" (Business... get it? hahah!)

How about if it's the LAST person in the world who should be giving advice about the topic? like for example Lindsey Lohann or Brittney Spears advising Miley Cyrus on how to keep her image squeaky clean. Or Tom Cruise leading a Mental Health workshop. You get where I'm coming from with this, yeah?

As a social worker, its my job to give advice. Well.. actually its my job to listen to people and help them realize their OWN advice, and listen to their own inner self, but... its kinda the same deal.  I got paid to provide input and brain storm solutions. So... you'd think advice wouldn't bother me.

But here's the difference. Before advising a mom who had her kids removed from the home that I'd go with her and fight to get them back, I'd find out about the situation. I'd investugate the home situation. Why were the kids taken? Is there an abusive family member? Is there an unsafe living condition? and THEN we'd work on solutions. 

If I were a Dr, I couldn't just prescribe cold medication to a person without finding out their medical history, to find out if there could be an adverse reaction, or an allergy or anything.

Why is it, as parents, people feel they are completely qualified to walk in and start sprouting words of wisdom to other parents and children when they haven't been through the situation themselves?

If you are telling me, parent to parent, how to deal with an out of control teen when your children are in diapers, Please join line A, where you will be lead to a sound proof room to sprout off your words of wisdom to others just like you (who will tell you your babies cry too little, too much, are too fat, too skinny, too spoiled, attention deprived). Come back again in 12-13 years

If you are the parent of a Golden Child, who at 16 rebelled by not eating their lima beans, DONT assume that you did everything right, and that I'm doing everything wrong. Or that you can swoop in and fix everything because you are the golden parent. You may feel free to join line A as well.

Or... best yet.. if you don't have kids, and like to wander from parent group to parent group informing everyone they are doing it ALL wrong, join line A.. There's a special spot for you.

IF you have watched your child get handcuffed and removed from your home, please join line B.
If you have had to sit through court and watch the child you raised be sentenced to hard time, Line B.
IF you have cried yourself to sleep almost every night knowing that what you are doing is the right thing, but feeling like crap for doing it, line B please.

Line B, you are the people I LOVE hearing advice from. You are the people who have been there, who know the struggles and who more often then not just simply listen when its needed. Or offer a reassuring "You're doing the right thing" or a "I know how you feel, I've been there".

So, dear people from line A who I don't think read my blog but just in case will remain anonymous, before you go off sprouting more words of wisdom, or assuming you can swoop in and fix the problem when you haven't cared enough to call and ask how things are going, or what you can do, or if you can just think/pray/hope things change.  If you don't know the full situation, please do us both a favour, and keep your stupid on the inside, just for today.

Line B people, you'll never know how much your thinking/prayer/hope means.  Sharing your experiences, saying "you're not alone" fills the dark spots.  And the king of line B, who calls EVERY day, just to say "I love you. I support you" You are what keeps the world turning some days.

Line A...  suck it! dismissed.

1 comment:

  1. I am in awe! I don't think I would make a good social worker at all! You must have a lot of patience!