Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Start on the right foot... Honesty

If you and your partner are discussing a LDR, the first thing I would suggest is getting as honest as you can. Well, actually I'd recommend that for ANY type of relationship, tbh. But its especially important in a LDR. LDR's remove an aspect of intimacy that is important for a relationship to grow. The option of "showing" your partner how much you miss them becomes a lot more difficult. You and your partner need to be able to share your thoughts and feelings without worrying about what the other person will think or do. Nothing will hurt a LDR then hanging up the phone after talking to your loved one and wondering if they're mad/sad/hurt by something you said.

Long before the topic of moving came up, my partner and I came to an understanding about honesty. We both knew from experience how important it was to be able to have an open dialog about... anything. So we agreed to hear each other out. That no topic would be taboo, and that no penalty would come from the truth. When we have a conversation that although unintentional, is hurtful, we've often said "I need some time to process. Can we talk about this in a little bit?" and as hard as it is, we shelf what we're talking about, and move on. Do the dishes together, or take the dog for a walk. But most importantly, we return to the conversation.

Now that we're miles apart, we've both continued with our honesty policy. When I have a day where I'm mad that he's not here, I can tell him, and we can talk about it. And when the day comes that he's tired of hearing me complain about something, I KNOW he'll tell me, and we'll talk it through.

Being honest with your partner now will help your relationship for years to come.

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