Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Random Is as Random Does

So somehow it doesn't sound as good as Stupid is as stupid does when my friend Forrest said it.

But you get the idea.

If you were to walk around my house you'd fine too many some boxes not closed.  They are my crap odds and ends boxes.  Little random things I figured I'd need before the move, I kept out. Now I'm on round 3 of the packing, and I've got 1 box in each room that random junk things can be tossed into.  This hurts my little OCD heart. It means that unpacking will be normal messy and unorganized.

Todays post will be the same.  Typical for my scttered little brain Random.  I've got a bunch of things, none long enough for a post but too long for post it note Tuesday. So here goes...

Dear Woman by the Park with the bitchy unpleasent Spaniel,
It must be convenient to live so close to the park. To just let your dog run around while you're inside drinking, napping, whatever it is that keeps you from your dog.  It must be great to never have to pick up doggy do because my son carries it home n his boot each day after school, and it must be WONDERFUL to know that because your dog is small, it doesn't pose a threat to anyone.  If my son steps in your dogs crap one more time I'm going to wipe it off on your lovely straw mat you keep outside your front door.  If your dog attempts to attack my 110lbs dog ONE more time, be warned that I will kick her to defend my dog if it comes down to it.

Dear Eldest,
You were born into what some would say are some privillaged catagories.  You're male, Caucasian, Born to a 2 parent family, living in a country where, sadly, as much as we're trying to change it, THOSE things are important.  You weren't abused as a child, you weren't abandoned as a baby at a fire hall, or left behind in school.  You have a mom, dad, step mom, brother, step brother, 3 sets of grandparents, and assorted uncles, aunts and cousins who all love you.  So PULL UP YOUR PANTS, DON'T suck your teeth at people, put your baseball hat on right, and pull the eminem CD out of your butt.  "YO" is not an accepted response in an argument, and its annoying as heck!  You feel me San? (I love you! :P )

Dear Super Mom,
I know we've had our differences, you thinking my youngest son is a troublemaker and a liar, my thinking your a meddeling bitch bitch who's son is going to call his 6th grade teacher mommy, because you've not let him spread his wings on his own, but making sure you're EXTRA nice to my kid, chasing him down just to say hi, isn't going to make up for the SLANDER you spread against him in the playground.  When a 7 year old can say "Not to be rude or anything but that lady is a suck up!" it's going a little to far.

Dear Random Internet Readers I seek advice from,
Hayden tried on his tux yesterday and said "Can I wear this every day?  I look like Edward.  But I'm still team Jacob, Momma." Should I be worried??

Dear George Clooney,
HELLO!!! (You never know... he might stumble across this blog sometime).


  1. I love the randomness! You have got to be BEYOND excited!!!!

  2. Oh my gawd, you crack me up! And don't be worried about your son; he's still team Jacob.

  3. Hilarious! But instead of going to all the work of wiping the dog poop on this lazy woman's mat, why don't you just throw a baggie of your own dog's poop in her yard? Preferably flaming!