Please stop the hormones!!

Dear Mr Storke,

I've unpacked the guest room! It's nice, neat, warm and cozy. I would love it if in your travels, you'd stop by. Just for a night or two. That's all... just long enough. I promise to make your favorite meal... whatever that might be... and not even screw up my face when you eat it. I thought you and I understood each other when we met the other day at the zoo. You remember... I was the crazy lady, talking to you for what seemed like forever, and you were the bird... ignoring me?

Dear Santa,

I know I asked for this Christmas time, but you were busy, and I understand how things can get left off the sleigh when it gets down to crunch time. Maybe it was too cold for her on your sleigh, so you thought later might be better. I can totally understand that! Did I mention it'll be as warm as 9 on Friday? I think that's perfectly acceptable weather for my rain check!
P.S... About that kid that wants a hippopotamus for Christmas... I think he's being completely irresponsible about it, and that I should get MY wish first!!

Dear Easter Bunny,

Thank you for last years chocolate supply. I really appreciated it, especially during those "darker" months. On Max and Ruby, you leave them a Gold chicken. Munchkin has been known to receive a gift or two at the end of an Easter egg hunt. So... if its not too much trouble, one fuzzy soft pink egg would be MORE then appreciated.... but if you don't have pink, blue will be just incredible!

Dear Sperm Fairy,

I know we've got some hurdles to get over, but it's nothing you haven't been able to accomplish before!! I'm not asking for a lot here, just a few measly super swimmers to get on the move! You work your magic all over the world millions of times over... all I need is 1... well... 1 now and 1 later... Come ON!!

Dear God,

I know over the last year I've asked a lot from you! I've tried to make deals, promises, bargains, and you kept telling me to be patient. I know I looked at the clock, tapped my fingers, stomped my feet and screamed "NOW!" and you hugged me and said "not yet". I know our priorities aren't always the same. I know you're interested in preparing me... and I'm interested in the here and now. I KNOW that your timing and my timing are different. So I'm not going to ask you like I did the others. At least not for that. If now is my time, my chance, my turn, then YAY! Wow! Awesome! But if its not, I'm going to need a lot of help because it's all I think about. It's the pretty much the only thing I dream about. And I know McHubby loves me with all his heart, but I think when I'm ready to cry at the opening sequence of The Simpsons just because they show an egg getting fertilized, that McHubby MIGHT get a worn with all the crying and pouting and sad. So if its not now, not for a long time, I'm going to need your help, because right now I don't even want to get out of bed to face the day(s).